DARIAN ZAM: October 2008

CREATIVE MADNESS CLOSES SHORTLY

So, Creative Madness closes at Orson & Blake, Surry Hills store, on Sunday 12 October at 2 p.m.
If you haven't already seen it, please do so. Otherwise, here are images of my work from the show. I believe it is still for sale, and the money will go to a very worthy cause - me.

No I am kidding, the money is going to the Prince of Wales Medical Institute, to fund research into mental illness. Very important research, if you know anyone who suffers from depression, and I think we all have at some point, some worse than others. If you've been in the grasp of deep blues you will know what torture it is, and would probably pay more than 500 smackers to "dissapear" that feeling for yourself or someone else close to you. Well one day you just may be able to get rid of it that simply if we can find out more about it.

Pls see below images that show the portfolio of 3 images I am offering from my current series "I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like You're Here". The portfolio of three unmounted, signed and numbered prints from an edition of 3 is only five hundred dollars, that's a more than excellent deal.

My Burden, digital photograph print, 2008 29.7 x 42 cm

It's too late now, digital photograph print, 2008 42 x 42 cm

Personal Territory, digital photographic print, 2008 29.7 x 42 cm

Creative madness site at Art Whats On http://www.artwhatson.com.au/creativemadness2008/

Creative madness page at POWMRI http://www.powmri.edu.au/creativemadness/index.htm

FIVE MINUTES ON FACEBOOK

…AND FIVE HOURS ON OTHER STUFF

Emotional Manipulation (study for facebook painting)

You’ve been pretty busy on Facebook!
I have been quite dedicated! (laughs). But I am in the honeymoon period! It’s been fun. The fundamentals of a social network comes with it’s own triumphs and pitfalls…. I’ve gotten back in touch with some friends I haven’t seen for over 20 years and even made some new ones. The politics of it are fascinating in it’s self. I’ve actually just done a piece about it I will post soon. Facebook means I can update my profile on a daily basis as the mood takes me, something I don’t really have time for on my blog, which needs a bit more substance…although I did promise myself it was going to be a fairly non-commital, light sort of thing. I have literally hundreds of stupid photos to inflict on the world!

You do have quite a web presence!
Well, I am not sure how that happened. I am partly responsible. The PORTRAITS show got a lot of press, especially on the web. Other stuff like…Log Illustrated, which I was involved with for a period of 3 or 4 years were intrinsically involved in publishing on the internet in tandem with the magazine, before use was a really a daily, taken-for-granted thing, before blogs and stuff. Pretty early on, about the time that a lot of people were just starting to use email at work and stuff, I was already doing stuff there so it’s built up and still comes up on engine searches. So there’s more than ten years worth.

We hear you are working outside of Sydney now, tell us about that.
Well, I was just sick of living in that city. I had been there for twenty years, and there were plenty of good times…maybe too much (laughs)…and it has changed a lot over the last few years. Most people spend all their time working so they can keep working. Being on a treadmill is not living, so what’s the point of being entrenched in a city where you have very little enjoyment, and you spend all your time stressed in order to support that sliver. It’s just a fearful lifestyle. Most people never question what they are so scared of, and being busy all the time is a good excuse for never having to think.

Are you leaving us forever?
To be honest, I love my friends in Sydney, but I don’t like living there. It took me until now to admit that I never really did. Like most things when I am done with it, I just walk away…leave. The best thing I’ve done was leave. I’ve moved to a very rural kind of forest area. I just love it here. It’s so peaceful, and so interesting, incredible history, and mostly I am undisturbed in a way that you can’t achieve in an urban environment. I don’t need a city in order to work at all, and it is much nicer here. It’s a win-win. That said, we certainly get a lot of tourists, and now with Halloween coming up, a lot of Emos, who are sort of like watered down Goths, invading the local historic graveyard, screeching around at night!

If it’s so peaceful you must be getting a lot of work done!
I feel like in a way I’ve found “home” like I’ve never known…you know how you always have this kind of idealistic dream place? I moved up here with the idea of just focusing exclusively on painting. But in fact I have been doing a lot of writing and haven’t done a lick of painting! (laughs). But still I have done a lot of work creating images and refining stuff. But writing is the big new thing for me. This year has been all about trying to re-establish myself, not making any money, just focusing on my creative career and in that respect, it’s been a very successful year. I’m flat broke, but happy. Not the happiest I’ve ever been in the past, but my priorities have changed, so yes actually maybe the happiest in fact. People ask me if I feel isolated but I don’t. When I lived in the city I never left the house most of the time, so it’s the same really.

Isn’t writing just painting with words?
I really think it is. Especially as it’s started crossing over into my visual work. I am using pieces or writing with images so it’s sort of blending into one. That’s what I love about being creative, you just never know what will come out of the ether or when. It’s all the same process to me, with writing I kind of have to sketch, sculpt and polish it the same way I would do a drawing or whatever. I treat it like doing a painting, except with letters. Some people would argue I treat everything like a design too. I’m not one of those people who can just bang out 3000 words on some nail polish or whatever, and then go out for a long lunch for the rest of the day. It’s a whole process that has to have the right temperature and everything.

How did the writing facet develop?
Basically I just sat down over coffee one morning and started while I was waiting for the phone and internet to be connected up, and that took 6 weeks! So in other words, I had nothing better to do! I started this one particular day writing a piece about my relationship with my parents… I was hoping it would be good, and as it turns out, it was, it sort of exceeded my expectation of myself. And then there was this outpouring, and I wrote and wrote…and still going. I can express ideas in a different, perhaps more complex and multi-layered way that a picture can’t. Definitely more instantaneous in a way. It’s become like a new addiction, a vital part of my repertoire. I’ve written before and even have had some small things published so the seed has always been there. I started this book about 8 years ago and got a few chapters in and then abandoned it, it just wasn’t working, In retrospect didn’t have the maturity to do it. I didn’t have a handle on how to connect one story to the next and I freaked out…but it’s way easier to just throw out the rule book. Now the time is right and it’s like a flood. Last night I started writing this piece about how when I was a toddler my parents stuck me in a wine barrel for a joke, and how I think it’s traumatized me for life! (laughs).

Sounds great. Any plans to publish an autobiography?
Well, I would like to pitch a book that’s not strictly… that. It just takes time, and I want to do a lot more and then perhaps take 3 pieces that I am totally happy with and think are really finished…and pitch it to a publisher. Why not. They will say yes or no, and I won’t really care either way. I’m doing it for myself. I read once that Dr. Suess pitched to, and was rejected by 46 publishers before he got a book deal. I always remember that in many instances.

So your portrait exhibition with Susie Hagon opens next month in Egypt.
That’s right. It opens on the 18th of this month. It’s on at the Library of Alexandria ( Bibliotheca Alexandria) which is a major, internationally respected institution. I’m not sure if it’s still going to Cairo. The Australian Embassy wanted it there, then they didn’t, then they wanted to host it at some other venue, and wanted us to pay for it. That’s when I yelled “CUT!” (laughs). They seemed to want their cake and eat it too. You know, I am really sick of doing stacks of work for other people, then they walk away with the credit. I am over it! Anyway It’s the first time I’ve been shown internationally, which is an exciting idea. If you don’t include New Zealand.

But you’re not going to Egypt? Is that why it’s only the idea that’s exciting?
No I’m not going to be involved other than in name. I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I’ve seen thousands of photos of Alexandria and Cairo… really I was so immersed in it, that I feel like I’ve been there. Susie loves to jill around the world living the high life, so I will leave her to it. I’m not a big traveler myself. I find it such an almost insurmountable commitment, even without work coming into the equation, and lately I am really allergic to the idea.

Can I ask why you decided to pull back from involvement?
Well…I just felt like I was kind of done with it a long time ago. Firstly, it’s the longest time I’ve ever spent on a project by far. It was extremely stressful over a long period. To start with Susie and I had a great working relationship. When you are working all the time with someone over a year and a half, you get to know them extremely well. Over all, it just didn’t meet my expectations for the amount of work and torture that went in, to continue with something that I consider…dead, really. We all have things going on in our personal lives, and you can’t put those things on hold for any length of time without it starting to fall apart and turn into a disaster.

Sounds ominous. You didn’t believe in it enough to keep working on it?
I just wasn’t sure I believed in it any more than what it is, a bunch of interesting looking portraits. There’s nothing wrong with that, there’s some nice ideas that expand on the personalities, but I don’t know if it runs much deeper than that. I think it tries hard. Although trickery is good, when you take it away the foundation has to be a really good portrait, as far as showcasing that persona without bells and whistles… and I’m not sure that was there a lot of the time. In that case, it’s like reheating leftovers. I just instinctively felt an overwhelming need to distance myself from it as soon as the exhibition in Sydney was closed, and pursue my personal life and other personal creative projects, which turned out to be such a good and right decision. It had totally taken over my life. In between January and May I worked on it 15 hours a day, seven days a week without a break. Eventually a fuse will blow, and it did I guess. It wasn’t planned, but it just happened after the show opened. Really, when I think about it, things started to go wrong early on, and I just ignored what was happening, which was obvious.

So you are saying?
I guess I am saying, I have a great talent for ignoring notifications that something isn’t going to work out in the long run, but I have given myself a stern lecture about not doing it to myself again. We sometimes force ourselves through things “for our own good”, and disregard obvious signs there is a problem.

Speaking of fuses blowing, it sounds like you had some troubles with the public reaction.
It was positive over all. If you are referring to the troubles with the Consulate, and the documentary on ABC Radio…yes. I received 2 anonymous threats after the documentary aired. The documentary was very focused on the censorship issue we faced. I’m not responsible for what the media are gonna say about something, they have to find an angle to sell it. It seems that just by defending ourselves…our freedom of speech, someone took it that we were supporting religious fundamentalism, which is not true at all. I’m pretty much atheist, and in fact adverse to religious fundamentalism of any kind…. but I was supporting myself and my rights as an Australasian artist. What IS true, is that I’m not Egyptian, and I’m not a Muslim, I don’t live in the Middle East and I’m not governed by those rules or beliefs. And therefore, as an artist I shouldn’t be affected by it. Unfortunately I was. I find it extremely disrespectful that it was forced upon me. The Consul General said in the documentary “We’re not running an art gallery.” Well fine, then don’t show any art! Make up your mind. You are or you aren’t. I just can’t stand it when someone totally manipulates a situation to suit their frivolous opinions, and expects others to go along. It made a huge amount of work for me and I resented that.

So you never worked out who it was?
Well I have an idea. I just somehow feel if you look at the facts, there’s some ties there in between the two things…the documentary and the threats…if you look at the reasons why someone would bother, I’m sorry to say but it seems that the threats came from within the infrastructure of the Egyptian Consulate, why would anyone else bother- nobody would care that much unless they were directly involved. They were really difficult to deal with in so many ways. Anyway that’s just part of having your work in the public eye, you get some shit. You just have to stay calm and move towards the exit, keep it moving.

Nevertheless, It sounds like it will be traveling for a while.
Well since then it’s been on at the Egyptian Embassy in Canberra, with no problems. There is talk that it’s maybe traveling to London and New York, and to State Libraries in Australia, but that remains to be seen. I don’t really care too much what happens with it from now on since I’m not in the traveling circus any more, so to speak. Susie keeps adding to it anyway…and I’m not inflexible, but I don’t believe in saying it’s this one particular idea and then morphing it into something else – it’s all over the place. Confusing for people. Annoying for bodies funding it. I think Quentin Crisp once said something like “The public expect you to be predictable.” It doesn’t mean you have to be, but it is true. I just firmly believe you have to set clear perimeters on a project and get it done, it makes it much more achievable.

And what about this fight that's going on at Artforum?
Well it’s hardly a fight, because if one person has already lost (laughs). It’s just sort of died out right now. People might question why I’ve got such an issue with the situation, but it boils down to something that makes me really pissed– there’s always some bigmouth individual hogging all the air time, when there are more talented people that really deserve exposure. I just hate having it shoved down my throat all the time, it’s like being forced to listen to a radio station that plays MOR style music non-stop. It also speaks volumes when someone is always promoting themselves, instantly they are focused on their PR machine, instead of the cornerstone, the work they are making. I do respect promotion if there is a strong foundation, and a great product of course. I want to be able to do the things I enjoy doing without having my attention hijacked by somebody else. It grates, because I feel like I’m having my right to personal choice stripped away, it’s invasive.

Do you think that you enjoy conflict?
I’ll admit I’m always ready for a scrap, but it’s more about standing up for what you believe in, when somebody tries to walk over you. I find that if someone thinks they can, they will.

Expanding on that line of thought, What do you think about the Bill Henson furore?
I can’t believe it’s still going…mainly because the media fracas is a medium in which several other voices, whom have stepped in, can showcase their enormous egos. I think it ceased to be about Bill Henson’s work almost at all, a long time ago. If you step way back, really objectively you have to look at what percentage of his work they are saying they think there is an issue with, and within the body of his work, it’s a small percentage. Yet the rest of the work – conveniently ignored! Do they launch an investigation when Jane Campion scouts schools for a movie? I hardly think so. There are many people out there who are thoroughly enjoying the attention they are getting through all of this, and I thought the comment he made in Good Weekend about how there will be somebody out there “wanking over a shoe catalogue”, given the opportunity- was apt, true, not to mention hilarious.

You were short-listed for Head On portrait prize in 2007 and 2008 with your collaboration. Do you think that you will make some work with Susie in the future?
No I won’t work with Susie again. We achieved so much in a short space of time, but all things come to an end. Susie has some great ideas but kind of tends to spread out in several directions, and I find that hard to deal with. It started off to be 50 portraits of Australians, using the first series we did that were published in the UNIFEM Women of the World book, as it’s departure point. It sort of became this globe-encompassing runaway train with Susie firmly ensconced in the driver seat. I want to be focused on one particular thing and make it great. Otherwise it just becomes overwhelming, yet diluted. Self-editing can be the greatest skill to have in any field, Above all. You can have a bunch of crap, but if it’s well edited crap…you know. And ditto with a bunch of good work, if it’s not edited well…

So what’s coming up for projects, and plans for next year?
Yes quite a lot…I have several projects I want to do. My main focus is getting a solo show on of the new series, of which I have been showing bits and pieces of this year in group things. I really started and completed it within the first half of this year and am now just adding, subtracting, editing – but it’s pretty much done. It’s getting a favorable reaction so far so I am looking forward to fleshing it out with a rounded solo exhibition and trying to get some support from the Australia Council hopefully. The problem is not work ethic or creative ideas…it’s finding venues. It’s highly frustrating. I’m one of those people that works best, really goes for it when I have a commitment. I’ve also cooked up this idea for a project that I’d like to do with the local Heritage Committee here for next year. I’ll continue writing, and cross-polinating that with my visual stuff…I’ve started doing this oral biography on the Sydney club scene over a decade. That is always problematic, like doing portraits - the minute you bring other people into the equation as subject, it’s ten times more complicated…they agree and then protest, start calling the shots. A lot of those people are scattered to the four winds - especially in the head after so many years of partying! I can see the difficulties I’m facing already. But generally, I’m loving it. Things are good. I could do with some more cash, but basically satisfied with life at this time.

DARIAN ZAM

Monday, October 20, 2008

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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Saturday, October 4, 2008

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